Undone

Undone

By Lisa Johnson
(From Getting To India)

Today I am feeling undone and I like it. Looking around at my reliable little world I see that I live a pretty tame bubble wrapped life, in a bubble wrapped house, with bubble wrapped kids, worshiping a bubble wrapped God that is safe and loving and kind and would not expect me to do anything uncomfortable or unsafe.
I keep thinking about India about the people there that we get to minister to and serve. They live in unsafe places with dirty water, disease bearing bugs, lack of food, and lack of the comfort we get to feel when we sit on the couch reading a good book with a fire in our fireplace, a full belly, and a pillow under our heads. Can I save any of them from discomfort, no. Can I heal their wounds or clean up the entire city, no. So what is the point of all of this? Why would I leave comfort and safety to step into a world of discomfort, heart break and misfortune like nothing I have ever experienced? Why is my heart becoming so burdened by these people? Why should I even care?

I slowly become conscious that I have been ready to become undone and get out of the bubble wrap shell that has encapsulated my little safe comfortable life. I keep thinking about the fact that if these people don’t get the opportunity to meet Jesus they will die without hope and the knowledge that this world has already been overcome for them. I want a new perspective on life for myself and for them. It’s not about me at all. Instead it is about learning what God knows is really important and sharing that truth with others so they can live free no matter what their circumstances are. I want my entire world to be rocked by my maker through experiencing what the Lord has in store for me and by witnessing His visible touch on another person’s life.

I feel like I am on the verge of coming upon a miracle of some sort. I am standing upon a precipice of newness and excitement and at the same time I am….. waiting.

Waiting? Is this a time to sit still and wait?  No! Fortunately it is a different type of waiting. The kind that is active – a serving kind of waiting. Visualize a waitress in a restaurant, taking orders, serving up requests, constantly moving and doing what is asked of her all with a smile and an acceptance of the position they choose to be in.  This kind of waiting is about seeking the Lord in a waiting/serving position .It’s about actively seeking His will and heart not only for this mission, but for my own life direction. Literally, waiting on the Lord.

During the process of waiting on the Lord I feel like he is undoing some things in my perspective and undoing some things in my life. I want him to undo me, and to remake me. I want Him to remove the things in my character and my behavior that don’t serve him well. I ask him to highlight what I idolize instead of Him so I can cast it aside to put Him first.  What does he want to rid me of so I can truly be able to say yes to ANYTHING he would have me do?

Why go? I have been asked what if I get sick over there, what if I die, what if I see something that just breaks my heart, why would I even want to see that? My only answer is because I know that my “comfort” here is only fleeting. I am not really all that content anyways, there is always something that I am seeking, unsatisfied with or hurting about or needs fixing. So if I get out of my box, wait and serve, become undone and redone then maybe I get to have an adventurously content life. I also know one day I will have to stand before God and give an account for every word and deed. I want him to say well done good and faithful servant. I want to build my treasures in heaven where moth and rust do not destroy and the thief cannot come in. I want to be able to lead others to that kingdom as well. To let them know although their current suffering is real so is God and he is bigger than their current situation. What we are all going through is only momentary when we consider it from an Eternal standpoint.
Time to bust out of this bubble wrap shell – I’ve concluded it really only offers a false sense of security.
Besides who wants to live in an insipid bubble when adventure is calling?

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